Starting to figure it out…

This month, the year of our lord, 2026, I am publishing a video about Jake Ricker. Interviewing Jake was great but I was definitely nervous. At the time of filming, July 2024, I still didn't really know the direction that I was heading in in terms of what this project or my channel was or is. 

I think I am in a better place now in terms of understanding what I am doing, the hard part really is just making time to make these videos. Each one is quite a bit of travel and then about 3 weeks full time of editing. Not to complain, obviously nobody is forcing me to do it, its just the honest reality of what making these things are like. 

I wonder at what line quality vs quantity ends. I watch things made by billion dollar companies that are less entertaining than a 30 second reel made by someone just farting around. I guess that's part of the beauty and horror of all of this being so democratized, anyone can put things out and anyone can put things out. I don't think that line is as clever or smart sounding as I thought when I thought it, but oh well, onward and upward.  

Looping back to my anxiety while filming this, when I watch or listen to the footage back I hear someone who really wants to be liked. I think now I feel more confident when interviewing people as I have done so many more interviews since then. Maybe that feeling never really goes away. As a host, or interviewer, I feel I want to be likeable and easy to talk to, then the feeling that I am somehow selling out or being inauthentic kicks in. I am not Gen X but the cultural hangover of that generation still looms large in my psyche, a generation that talked a lot about hating the system and then they become true to life demons in industries worldwide. Grok, please insert a Batman quote here about becoming the villain or whatever. 

Onward and upward.